So, I decided to ditch the Lusts & Loves post for the week. I spent the last two days thinking about what I was going to write about. Went back and forth about a lot of different things. I settled on keeping it real and fun today.
I've been a mom now for almost 6 years. I have lots of friends who have been moms longer, I have friends who are new moms and I have friends who aren't moms at all (yet). As moms, we do things differently. Our kids are different, so it only makes sense. One thing, I bet, all women, who have ever even considered having children, have done is used the phrase "when I have kids...." and finished it with whatever misconception they may have about being a mom. If you never did this, please tell me! Be honest! You did it too!
- Have kids. First thing is first. There was a time in my life I actually was not interested in the least bit in becoming a Mommy. Damien actually talked about how "we'd be fine" if we never had kids. And then, after He laughed at MY plans, God blessed us with Payton. After having Payton, I said I was DONE. I did have a rough pregnancy and an even more traumatizing delivery with that one. So, I was terrified to go through it again. Enter Mallori 3 and a half years later. Well, Mali was planned, by us too, as we decided Payton needed a partner in crime. But then, seriously, I was DONE. DONE! And you all know Brooklyn's story <if not, go back and read my blog A Slap in the Face>. Here I am, never thought I'd have kids, with 3 girls...
- Have a toy store in my living room. Even after Payton was born, I knew that I was not going to be one of those moms who let their kid's stuff takeover the house. Kid stuff stays in the kid room. But I didn't want to hang out in the kid room all day. So, natuarally, my living room began to look like Toys R Us threw up in it. And, it's not just there. Kids put toys everywhere. Kitchen cabinets, the toilet. If it opens, it probably has toys in it.
- Figure out if it's chocolate or poop. You know the Tina Fey, Amy Poehler movie? Well, I have NEVER done the taste test, but I sure have sniffed questionable brown things.
- Leave my house sans makeup. After I had Payton, this happened never. After Mal, occasionally. After Brooklyn, almost daily. I have worked in the cosmetic industry for over 10 years. You'd think I'd know better, but sometimes, I just don't have time to worry about my makeup in the mornings. Know this, my kids, they always look cute!
- Have the public meltdown kid. You know when you are out shopping or running errands (I think it is actually mostly while shopping), and there is a mom with a kid who is having a complete meltdown? It can be just crying, screaming, arguing, whatever kind of meltdown you can think of. Thought: My kids will never lose it publicly over anything. WRONG!!!! They have and they will. In defense of kids in general, this mostly happends when they are over exerted. This is typically the reason that my kids lose it (in public or at home).
- Drive a minivan. Okay ladies, I know that I'm not alone on this one! Minivans are not what young, cool moms drive. And I'm a young, cool mom. Well, then you have three kids age 5 and under and no other type of vehicle can even begin to make sense. So, cheers to all you young, cool moms hauling tots around in your minivan. I think you are awesome. And, I have a secret, I kinda love mine.
- Go a day without shaving my legs. Oh, who am I kidding?! Forget about shaving my legs! There are days I don't see the inside of my shower, much less create silky smooth legs. Showers are a luxury for moms. And a bath, those are like going to a freaking spa. Go ahead, act like you don't know.
- Pee with one or more persons watching me. If I get up to leave the room, I swear, it's like I have an alarm that goes off to alert the children. "Hey everyone! Mom needs a minute to relieve herself. Party in the bathroom!" It's like you have to activate super-mommy stealth mode to get 2 minutes of alone bathrrom time. Sheesh!
Now, time to get your laugh on, e-card style. Because what mommy doesn't love e-cards?